for amber

Crazy. How can I be a liar?? Makes no sense to me. I definitely was forthcoming and told what occured. Yes I did have certain intentions but they changed after a pivotal conversation between us. You knew the things that happened. I'm sorry you had to see the words of a late night conversation but I can't change the past. I'm not an asshole & definitely not a liar.
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there's nothing one can do to change the past. That's why it's the past; it cannot be augmented. I just have come to understand this fact, and feel it is critical in the maturation process. One must understand what to do after a momentous occasion in order to become a more mature person. Personally, I feel that I can use forgiveness as my biggest tool to move forward. Seeing an event as a paper cut rather than a tumor is a great way to look at it. A paper cut will hurt sometimes, but only for a short while. People must understand these "paper cuts" are easy to get over and do no require too much time. On the other hand, tumors are life threatening and potentially untreatable. In order to properly diagnose the situation, whether tumor or paper cut, one must identify the severity of the pain and make sure that they handle it accordingly. Then and only then will the "wound" be healed properly and the correct steps can be taken to moving forward in life

-Mr Solo Dolo

I am who I am. There's nothing I can do to change that. Sorry. All I can do is work on being the best me I can be. Of course there are some areas I fall short in but just know there are some in which I excel. I hope the areas I'm not "astute" in don't deter you from being with me. I hate feeling like this & constantly thinking about this shit but there's nothing else I can do about it. Writing is my only solace when certain situations arise. I'm fuckin self conscience as fuck now and it's not a good feeling. I went from feeling comfortable in my own skin to wishin I was in someone else's. I love you, and don't think there's too many out there who love you like I do. Just stay with me & we can make what we have flourish.

-Mr Solo Dolo
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Why can't things be simple? I feel that as "adults" we college students tend to overcomplicate the simple things. It probably is because we aren't mature enough to handle certain situations. But, it could also be because we over dramatize things and make them gallon size issues when their really an oz. Personally, I pray that all my friends around me can find this simplicity which I try and lead my life by. It will definitely make things in life so much better
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I just felt like writing. After a night of push ups & sit ups it just feels right to release mentally as well as physically. I didn't wanna talk to anyone about anything so writing is my next outlet. Listening to "Man On The Moon: The End Of Day" is truly an unbelievable experience and I recommend it to anyone who loves music. This album is really making me think about who I really am. Not putting on a facade of what people expect, but just me. I may be lame, whack, etc but in the end I guess it's just me.

Love ME or leave me ALONE...
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1st 2 days...of the rest of my life

This has truly been the best 2 days i could have asked for to start the program. the kids are truly receptive and beyond smart. no discipline issues, only minor talking, and at least 80% class involvement. i really just want the kids to lose that fear of being wrong and gain the fear of not expressing themselves. i feel its one of the major fears that prevents kids from becoming even better students because they think they'll be ridiculed for being wrong. the truth is someone else was thinking the same thing so by TRYING you're just being helpful. I even received a nice eval today from the Dean of Faculty and it'll be my personal goal to strive to upkeep that same high regard throughout the program. i want nothing but success for the kids and it's going to be my vendetta to lead them in that direction...

Listen
Ask
Respect
Try
ASK AGAIN!!!

42+

so it’s a little over 6 weeks now
and everyday I have this frown
upon my face because I know
it’s one more day where I cant see your glow
but , I know once we breathe the same air
it’ll be me who takes you there
to that place you’ve longed to be
for oh so long
that place that is a playlist of your favorite songs
I happily like to call it “Euphoria”

in this place there are no sad faces,
for all frowns are turned upside down
it’s one of the most desired places
and you will be the one who wears the crown
I’ll call you my queen, to whom I give my all
for if you misstep, it’ll be I who breaks that fall

I know I may be ahead of myself
because all this promise doesn’t ensure wealth
but who am I not to dream
I don’t wanna be considered a fiend
but…
this moment it feels so close
yet, far far away
it’ll surely be a dose
of pure, unconcentrated ecsta-say

Then, I can say it’s you I got
[oops, my fault] I meant possess
where all the events in this plot
will be worth this emotional duress

All in 42+…

consumed

like jordans on any saturday, or yeezy's on the 1st weekend of june, april and may, I feel consumed. i cant necessarily understand why, but it's as if everything surrounding me has some ironic connection to you. its as if my mind is constantly creating metaphors and similes from my daily actions in order to keep a steady stream of wonderful images of you flowing through my mind. my brain is the highway and every car from every maker seems to be you. whether benz, bmw, or beetle they all resemble you. like the girl at the walmart who just got the checks for her 4 kids, my cart is overflowing and these are not things such as cereal, milk, eggs and cheese; i'm talkin conversations, txts, bbm, and skype convos. i cant seem to have enough of you. my metabolism must be insanely fast because all of this intake does nothing to hinder my figure. i automatically divulge of one round of the aforementioned grocery list and thirst, no desire, no need, NO covet another before i become empty. i'm not one for obesity, so as long as the effects don't show i guess i can continue to be as greedy as i please...

:) + clock = <3

Quality Over Quantity

It felt sooo great to see my aunts, granma and granda all in the same house. When u throw in the fact my dad was there too, it was a truly memorable evening. Just 1;30 mins, the amount of time doesn't do it justice. Quality over quantity is usually true & this time it definitely held up :-)
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Sports Talk

So the lake show aka black mamba and the boys did it like I previously stated they would. Now I didn't know they would utter a complete and utter ass whoopin but hey, when kobe's on and the D is swarming what is a team to do??

Next up is a little MLB chatter. I feel sorry for the fans in pittsburgh where their pirates haven't had a winning season since b bonds was jumping over walls in 3 rivers stadium. They just recently traded the most effective if not best player CF nate mcclouth. I hear boycott talk up in west PA and I'm all for it. Best of luck pirate fans

My man fed aka roger federer stormed back today from a 1-2 deficit against 5 seed johan del potro. After nadal was upset by soderling it was critical that fed take this opportunity by the hands and after a previous 5 setter against tommy haas, fed looked shy early in this match but rebounded like a champion. Best of luck to fed as he tries to tie pete sampras' 14 majors on sunday at roland garros. I love the soderling story, but I'm going for greatness in this one.

That's all for sports talk right now. Look out for the nightly recap later.
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Pit-Pat

It knocks upon my window
Sometimes like a burglar
And others, like a good friend
Regardless of its pretense, I can't let it in
It must stay outside, because it keeps me calm
I feel a certain peace of mind
And a calm that doesn't happen all the time
Yet, its a shame it can only come around ever so often
Because it truly makes the pain go away like an apple a day
Pit-pat is the melodious rhythm I hear on the AC downstairs
This beat calms my thoughts and hides my fears
I know it will do more harm than good
And I love the way that its non-biased as it hits the suburbs and the hood
I wish I could be like the rain drops to which I listen
They seem so at peace just doing a simple duty
Which is to help me sleep better and gain a sense of clarity

Pit...pat..pit...pat keeps my heartbeat steady & type
Thus, I never, ever have to deal with fright

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Damn...

There's something that is kinda crazy. How can something occur and then there be a delayed reaction. I know I'm far from perfect but telling me I messed up after the fact doesn't have the same impact as doing it in the moment. I hate upsetting people but when I don't get stopped in my tracks, all I can say is "damn..." when I hear about it later
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Hmmm

Just wanted to see if this email thhing worked
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