pushing through

I personally know that I am not the best person there is. I constantly tell others "I'm a horrible person" The more I say this, the more I'm starting to believe it. There is no reason for the harsh, mean, sarcastic nature I have the majority of the time. It's a shame that I am like this and I actually want to offer a PUBLIC APOLOGY (and i HATE apologizing) to anyone, mainly ELENA, that I may have offended in the past.

To you baby,
I hope we make it through our little storm and that it is only an april shower and not an august hurricane. I know I can do better by you and that is truly my goal in these last 36 days on campus together. Thank you so much for staying with me and putting up with all the bullshit I throw out, my nonchalant attitude, and my questionable behavior when it comes to getting attention. Know that I fully love you and if I didn't I wouldn't still be here and do what I do for you.

Love,
Lil Charlie [insider]

SelfControl

I see you there...
Sitting in all of the marvelous beauty
you've been blessed to possess
i want nothing more than to....
slowly...caress you
tenderly...touch you
& emotionally feel you
but i know i can't....

now, "IT" kicks in
knowing where to go
when to stop
what to touch
and what i cannot
it hurts so bad
but know
it's only for good
without "IT"
opportunities never end
possibilities are boundless
and pleasure is possible that
has yet to be seen

Thus, i must have it
to protect the sanctity of this
to make this bond tighter
to, to show i TRULY care

SelfControl...be my guide and my crystal stair

givelife

So, i thought I would share with everyone again my wonderful message from church. This one didn't come from CAU chapel but instead from an amazing place called 12Stone. I went with 2 of my best friends [Alex & French] and I must say it was a great, inspiring, life-altering message....Enjoy and take something away from it

Cats aren't clean, just covered with cat spit.
Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should just relax and let them.

Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Play as if you know the ending to the game.
Remember why we're here and what we're called to do. Death has been swallowed up in victory.

A full life comes in you pouring OUT to others. Water flow is the picture of a full life. We have to pour out so the father can pour in.

Pattern 4 pouring out:
1. Give gratitude to God

2. Pause for outsiders

3. Serve insiders (a church gets full life when everyone serves)

4. Go out of your way to serve others

No More Breakdowns....Just BREAKTHOUGHS

I just thought I'd share the wonderful message I received at CAU Chapel Sunday....ENJOY :D

Easter is an experience, a lifestyle.

There are times in ur life u don't feel the presence of god; when things become an illusion. We need a God who's real & meets us where we are.

If we need the breakthrough we're gonna need to hold on to the discussion of hope. Hold on to hope. W/o hope we are perishing

Without hope there is no faith, without faith we are no pleasing God.

You've got to have the word of God. "If you continue my word then u are my disciples indeed and then you will know the truth". (And the truth will set you free)

Its important to have friends that say I love you, but you're doin wrong.

None of us make it until all of us make it. If we don't make it through christ we won't make it.

All Jesus needs in an invitation. The holy spirit will not force himself upon you.

Graces = god's riches at god's expense
Jesus plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
I will trust you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.

(Refer to the chorus of "Stomp")

Hopefully these words will be beneficial to another person!

...alone

i wish to be...alone
in a place of comfort
a place of peace
solace, truth, calm

how can i get here?
someone show me the way
i don't think another can bring it to me
they simply can't
only I
will be able to bring
this non attainable destination
into my frugal reality

i long for it
crave it
i desire it
NEED it
oh Lord, may I?

i beg, grovel, succumb to you
if it will be mine
now, later, or anytime
before i die

Lord, please
let me, your servant
be
...alone

B-more's finest

While reading through some of my fave blogs i came across miss Parris Desiree's. She's a fellow rep of the DMV and one friend i've had since august. You can always count on parris for a cute outfit and a good hug. Make sure you give her blog a read and you won't be dissapointed

http://trestresdoux.blogspot.com/

CUATRO!

to think, it all started with an innocent walk to publix when i thought i didnt have a chance and she was actually diggin my friend...but now it has eclipsed 20 weeks or 140 days or better yet FOUR MONTHS. i know people may say "hey, its only 4 months.." but for me you must cherish things in life as they come because you never know how long they'll be there. [quote it, lol] i have learned to truly love this young lady for all of our differences and similarites, i can truly say that this is real love and its "maddd" strong [insider] hopefully these 4 months will be a blip in the rear view mirror as we continue on a path to where i can't see the end in sight

11.16.08

True Religion

have you ever admired something for so long, and then had the chance to grasp it in your arms??? well, i finally got that chance last saturday when the true religion outlet called my name. I have always LOVED the jeans as I saw people around town wearing them. Being a jean freak [owing 30 pair and having to give away 23 last year] i can value the quality denim, beautiful stitching, and superb washes. not to mention that best fit out. The way they hug up top and kinda fall at the bottom makes me :D. so when i tried my first pair on there was no way i was leaving VA without a pair...It just so happens that i fell in love so much, i had to buy 2 and it was the best $$ i spent in a long time. now i know i'll have 2 pair of jeans for at least the next 3-4 years that will always be stylish and not go out of style

Spring Break Recap

It was the best of the times....it was the even more better of times, lol

Spring Break 09 was truly one for the ages. It allowed me to be a "mature" young man and actually bring my girlfriend, Elena, home. This was something I never envisioned doing so early but when something's right you can't let "plans" get in the way. We had an amazing time from the car ride with my dad and my stepmom in the airport to our shopping spree [ :D ] at the Prime Outlets in Williamsburg (Coach, True Religion, Nike, American Eagle, RALPH LAUREN!!!] I couldnt have asked for a better first spring break because although it wasn't panama city beach, south beach or Puerto Rico I really can value driving around MY town, eating MY grandmother's dinner [lasagna & fried chicken were scrumpscous] and being in MY comfort zone. They'll be plenty of chances to travel to other places, but this time the 757 held me down justtttt fine..

Times like These

I sit and wonder and speculate on all the magical things that occur in my life; family. friends. health. love. intelligence. happiness.

All I can conclude after looking at these magnificent, wonderful, stupendous things is that there is a plan out there for me. In no way, shape, or form could a life so great just come to fruition without there being some sort of divine intervention. Whether God, Allah or Buddha, I know that something out there has me in their best interest because I could not ask for a better situation.

Morehouse College student, 3.9+ GPA, loving family, affectionate girlfriend [E.E.W] and TRUE friends that I always know I can run to at 3am and they'll be there for me.

These things do not come a dime a dozen and if you have these same sort of blessings in your life, make sure you take the time out of your busy day to offer up some sort of thanks to whatever is watching over you in this "crazy world" - Jeezy

"cough cough" :friend: ship

it's crazy when you think about the word friendship: in theory its a simple compound word which evokes the thoughts of a common bond between two people that would consider themselves to be close. however, in my present location [the AUC] i find myself constantly challenging that definition. A lot has changed since August and in one respect it should have been expected but in another it's something that's hard to prepare for. You see yourself as friends with a person but then people change, grow, and move further apart and all you're left with is the title. Now I know i'm a southern boy, but in such a geographically diverse situation where people have varying definitions as to what friendship is am i wrong to think like this??? I thought I knew who my true friends were here and to some extent I do. With the year coming to a close it amazes me to the people that were there in august and are no longer really present and those that have arrived on the scene. Maybe this is all just a dude ramblin , or it could really be the truth being spoken. I just hope somehow people can understand what a true "friend" is and what goes along with that title...because it's more than just a 6 letter word

I guess all i can do is try and weed between my friends and my "friends" to figure out who belongs in which category

midterm craziness

when i heard that sleep is for the weary, i never thought it would apply to me. the last 2 nights have been nothing but 2K9, facebook, espn.com, weezy and drake. these are all the ingredients of midterm week before spring break. who ever knew sociology would be so difficult and econ such a breeze? between faust and lyssistrata for english & the gender transgression zone and hegemonic masuclinity for men in society, my mind is constantly on the move...i wish it could all be over and i could be back in va near the water, 7-eleven, norfolk state and macarthur mall. i know it'll all be over soon enough, but it definitely could hurry up a little bit